Debasement
by CommanderHusky
Summary: Eric has a new hobby. One that requires the help from his friends and aquaintances. He's on the road to become the next Spielberg, Kubrik, Coppola... Of the porn industry...


"Dude, this fucking sucks…" Kenny said wiping his forehead off the sweat that had accumulated there.

"Yeah, we should've gone to Kyle's house" Stan added moving uncomfortably on the couch, making it screech under the contact with his damp clothes.

"Well, Kahl doesn't have the new PS6" Eric grubmbled as he tried to concentrate on the race he was holding with Kyle who was equally concentrated.

"Yeah, but he has a working AC" Kenny rolled his eyes "Look at this!" The blond held a soggy chip in his hand and wiggled it in front of Eric, making the fat boy to take his eyes off the screen.

"Fuck off Kinny!" Eric swatted Kenny's hand off but in doing so his car went off the track and he was disqualified from the game "Fuck you! I was fucking winning Kenny!" The chunky brunet pushed Kenny off the couch glaring at him "At least you have fucking food here"

"Don't be such a bad loser fatass" Kyle grinned and took some of his soda "The guys are right. It's really hot in here. And you were gonna lose anyways"

Eric was about to retaliate by grabbing Kyle by the collar of his shirt but Stan moved between them and put on an apologetic smile "Easy dude. We're all on edge here right? It's just that this summer is super hot and your AC is broken… When're you gonna have it repaired?"

The brunet gritted his teeth but slumped down onto the couch scowling at the ceiling. Apparently the heat had taken even his will to fight "I have no fucking idea. Mom said she was gonna get someone to do it but she's a bitch and… She forgets" Eric trailed off knowing he had almost said too much.

Stan noticed that but instead of pushing it he just took some of his soda and then got up "It's late anyways. Mom had asked me to help around the house a bit and I should hurry if I still wanna catch Wendy for a talk before she goes to sleep…"

"Yeah yeah… Run off with your bitches and all" Eric made a dismissive gesture not looking at the others "You too can follow him if you hate being here so much"

Kyle got up and shot an amused smirk to Eric "As if we needed your permission to leave anyways"

"Can I take some chips with me though?" Kenny asked already grabbing the bowl. Eric glared at him but then just shrugged. Kenny grinned and put all the chips in his hoodie pocket before leaving "We're going to Kyle's tomorrow okay?" Eric shrugged again and the others left.

The large brunet huffed annoyed. They had an arrangement that since It was too hot to be outside, each day they would hang out at the house of one of them. Eric had always said he hated to have the others at his place but of course no one believed him, not even himself. So having his house practically inhabitable from the intense heat and no means to cool it down was a real bother to him. Especially when he had spent a lot of money, probably more than he should have, on his new gaming console which he had hoped would be a beacon that guided everyone to his house to hang out with him.

But thinking about that was even worse. They had never been rich, much to Eric's chagrin, but they had never been poor either. Until now. To be fair, they weren't poor still. Food wasn't missing on the Cartman's table and they had all the other basic needs but lately Eric's mother hadn't been bringing near close the amount of money she used to and everything seemed to be going downhill for them. Eric had even considered getting a job but it felt just too exhausting to even think about it.

Eric grumbled and turned everything off before heading to his room. For a summer night where there weren't any worries about school the next day, it was still very early. But Eric felt too tired to even do anything on his PC or phone so he just fell down onto the bed and tried to sleep. Which was impossible with the searing heat inside his room. The brunet got up and opened the window but it was useless. There was no wind blowing and the outside air was as hot as the inside one. Eric stripped off his clothes entirely and laid down again but not even that served for too long. Not even half an hour later he was starting to sweat and no matter how many times he rolled around trying to look for a cooler spot made it any better. An hour later sleep wasn't even near reaching Eric and he was already drenched in his sweat, something that he loathed, so he huffed angry and got up to take a shower.

It was 4am when he finally managed to fall asleep and he was up by 9am woken up by the heat again which made Eric feel like he hadn't slept at all. He definitely needed to do something about the AC.

"Wow dude, you look down today" Kyle commented as they were setting up Eric's console into his TV.

Stan shrugged and sighed "Last night's call with Wendy… It didn't go that well…"

"She bitched at you again for not fucking her enough?" Eric chided in from the couch where he was setting up the snacks "Or at all…"

"Fuck you Cartman!" Stan glared at his friend and flipped him off but then his anger died down quickly and he nodded going back to the TV "You're right though…"

"Stan, if you don't want to do it with her she has no right to pressure you onto it…" Kyle began but stopped when the black haired boy frowned at him "I'm just saying…"

"Who said I don't want it?! Just because you have a girlfriend now you think you're an expert on this or something?" Stan snapped at his friend and moved to the couch where he grabbed a soda trying to cool himself off "It's just…" Stan sat on the couch and shook his head "Sorry for that dude. I'm stressed out about this" He took another sip "I do want it. Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? But we… Well, it's not like we even have a place to do it you know? And she won't go for a quickie in some bathrooms or the car or anything…"

"What about your houses?" Kenny asked puzzled.

"Dumbass, not everyone lives in a white trash hellhole where you can fuck anyone and no one will even notice" Eric scoffed already filling his mouth with snacks.

"Hate to say it but Cartman's right on that one…" Stan said defeated and Kenny glared at him. Stan quickly put on an apologetic smile "I'm just saying that our houses are a no go. In hers would be impossible with her parents being so strict. It's a miracle already that they let us be together. And in my place, with mom sick and Shelly or dad around…"

"What about a hotel?" Kenny asked again.

"We're all minors still Kenny" Kyle rolled his eyes and sitting beside Stan on the couch "No hotel would let them in"

"I know a few" Kenny shrugged.

"Wendy won't go there knowing she could get arrested or something and make her parents angry" Stan shook his head again "Our relationship is great but that bit is tearing us apart… I wish I could say it doesn't bothers me but I can't, I feel as bad about it as she does"

Eric had been silent for a while, just listening to his friend's woes without paying too much attention. He had never liked those two being together anyways. But then something clicked inside his mind and he could almost feel the cogs starting to move. The brunet grinned then and almost jumped to blurt out his newest idea but then he watched at Kyle and his enthusiasm simmered down. How many times his awesome schemes had failed because Kyle had gotten wind of them? No, he had to play this smart. They could be okay lately with each other but Eric knew that Kyle would object to this if it meant a risk for his super best friend. Also, he wasn't sure if it would work, not just like that. He might convince Stan easily enough but Wendy was a whole different beast. So for the time being, Eric just limited himself to ponder over his plan and polish it to perfection before presenting his black haired friend with the solution to both of their problems.

"Couldn't we have gone to a place less crowded?" Wendy complained loudly as they walked out of the restaurant.

"It wasn't that bad Wends…" Stan rolled his eyes and then tried to smile "The food was good"

"Yeah, but the 45 minutes wait for it wasn't" The black haired girl scowled at her purse while looking for something inside "And there was so many people inside that even with the AC on it was very hot"

"Yeah… I'll give you that" Stan rubbed the back of his neck as he waited beside Wendy's car.

"Stan? Wendy?" A playful, almost mocking voice came from behind them "What a coincidence finding you two here…" When they turned around Eric's grin welcomed them.

"Cartman?" What are you doing around here?" Stan asked surprised. Wendy just limited herself to roll her eyes in annoyance.

"I was just passing by… Had to run some errands" Eric replied in a nonchalant tone but his mask dropped for a quarter of a second when he had to wipe the sweat off his forehead. Waiting outside in the scorching air of that year's summer for Stan and Wendy to come out hadn't come without a price for Eric. But he composed himself quickly and smiled again "But now that I found you here together I can't let pass the chance to talk with you"

"Stan, I know he's supposed to be your friend or something but you know I can't stand this fatass" Wendy shot a glare at Eric for a moment and then looked back at Stan "So can we go now? I found the keys already"

The black haired boy looked at the other two intermittently and smiled nervously at Eric "Can you text me later or something? We're gonna meet tomorrow anyways so…"

"But I need to talk with both of you. Together" Eric replied furrowing his brow in a small gesture of plea that turned fast into another grin "This is something that you really want to listen"

"Cartman, whatever idiocy you think we want to hear is really none of our business" Wendy said drily and opened the door of her car "Let's go Stan"

"I see. You had a date and you must be wanting to take it further right?" Eric spoke slowly, with an almost honeyed voice "You must be eager to spend the night together, reveling in the passion you both feel for each other…" Eric smirked then "Oh! But you can't huh? Because you don't have anywhere to do that…" The fat brunet shook his head clicking his tongue "So sad… To let all that fire die out without even getting to be completely lit…"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Wendy sent a death glare to Eric and then scoffed "Nevermind, I don't wanna know" She tried to close the door but Eric held it in place, making her to grab Eric's wrist squeezing as hard as she could "Get off fatass!"

"I mean, I could of course" Eric replied without his smirk ever wavering "But I guess that you won't. Not with each other at least…" The chubby boy let go of the door "Have fun wanking alone in your room thinking of all the fun you could have together and never doing it until you're finally bored of waiting for an opportunity that you'll only have when you don't wanna do each other anymore"

Wendy's eyes widened but quickly were reduced to a furious squint as she turned her head towards Stan "What did you tell this asshole?"

Stan was sweating and it wasn't just from the summer air "Wends… I was just talking to the guys the other day… Besides, it's not like it's a secret. I know all the girls know about it already too" He tried to appear defiant but his squeaking wasn't threatening at all.

"Why be mad at Stan when you could use all that energy into riding him to oblivion?" Eric wriggled free of Wendy's hold and rested both arms over the door "Guys, I have an offer for you"

Eric's grin was big and a bit scary which took Wendy by surprise when she turned around to look at him. Still she didn't appear to be intimidated and just limited herself to look disgusted "What Stan and I do or not is our problem and we don't want to have anything to do with you or your stupid offer"

She started the car and tried again to close the door but Eric's weight was preventing her from doing it. Though what shocked her was to feel Stan's hand on her shoulder and his hesitant voice "Wendy… Cartman might be an asshole but he's cooler now and… Look, can't we just hear him out at least?"

"Well spoken my dude!" Eric said cheerfully and his grin grew even bigger "I promise you really wanna hear me out on this"

Wendy gritted her teeth and closed her eyes for a moment but finally huffed and nodded "Talk"

Eric's grin was so huge now that the other two wondered if he was a human after all or just some sort of really well disguised Cheshire Cat "So, you both, like any other respectable couple of teens in our town, are horny as hell and desperate to grind into each other until not even bonemeal is left right?" Wendy was about to speak but Eric stopped her with a sign of his hand "But you don't have a place to do it. That's where I come in of course. How would you like to do it at my place?"

Both Wendy and Stan looked at each other astounded for a moment until Wendy snorted and finally started to laugh "Why… Why do you think we would be interested in being in your house? Specially doing… That, in your filthy room?"

"Who talked about my room?" Eric looked equally disgusted as her with that idea "No dude, I'm offering my basement. It's private, fresher than the rest of the house and fully furnished for a nice escapade like the one you've been denied for all this time"

Wendy rolled her eyes and turned to look at the front "We're leaving. You can let go of the door or say goodbye to your arms"

But then again, Stan squeezed his girlfriend's shoulder stopping her "Wait. Wends… Can't we at least consider it? Like talking about it? Both of us?"

Wendy looked incredulous at her boyfriend and gritted her teeth again "I can't believe… This is fucking fatass Cartman! How can you even want to think about such a humiliating and horrible proposal?!"

"And what do you want us to do? Wait until he's right?!" Stan's outburst was desperate "Can't you see we're having a really bad time as a couple? Again? And it's not because we don't work but because these fucking hormones are making us be stressed out as fuck! I want to be with you Wendy! Don't you want that too?"

There was pure shock in Wendy's eyes now but there was anger too, not against Stan, but because she knew he was right. Still, she wouldn't go down so easily "Yes, I want to do it with you Stan. Of course I do. But can't you see this is just some sort of stupid trap or something? Didn't you learn anything from spending all these years around Cartman?"

"He's cooler now Wendy" Stan seemed calmer now at Wendy at least saying she wanted the same as him "I'm sure this is not a trap" He looked past her and to Eric "If it is I'm not entirely defenseless against him"

Wendy looked surprised now at Stan's sudden bout of confidence and she turned around to see that most of Eric's grin had disappeared and he now had a tiny but still visible glint of annoyance in his eyes "Okay Cartman. How much will it be?"

Eric raised an eyebrow and scoffed "How much? I never talked about money here"

The black haired girl shot a deadpan look at him "You expect me to believe you're doing this because you want to help a friend or something? That you're not wanting anything in return?"

The chunky boy smirked "Of course I'll gain something from this. I'm no idiot as to let you pair of hippies breed all over my basement…" He shuddered at the idea and Wendy rolled her eyes again "I don't want any money. Instead, while you're down there rolling around like monkeys in heat, I'll be there filming"

Wendy's face froze there for a long while until she simply nodded and started the car again "Yeah, as I said, we're leaving" This time she did began moving away but Eric ran to the front of the car blocking their way "Move out asshole!"

She honked the horn and pushed a bit with the car but Eric wouldn't budge "Stan! Tell your bitch to calm the fuck down!" Wendy moved the car a bit more and Eric sat on top of the hood "Dude! I know you want this! Who cares if I catch it on tape or not? You need this!"

Stan was petrified by the whole situation but he managed to put a hand over Wendy's catching her attention "Wendy! Stop the car. You know that if you hurt him Cartman will do the impossible to take you to court or something" That seemed to snap Wendy from her blind rage and she stopped moving the car. Stan exhaled relieved and squeezed his girlfriend's hand "Besides, he's kinda right…"

"WHAT?!" Wendy shouted as her look pierced Stan with the same fury she had just seconds before.

"I mean… We do need to do it Wends…" The black haired boy stammered a bit "See how you are right now? You always keep your cool but now you're turned into a demon and we both know why…"

Wendy squeezed the steering wheel offended "So what, you're okay with that degenerate bastard getting into our intimacy and then using it as leverage against us or something?"

"No no, that's not the idea at all" Eric had ran again to the side of the car and was now talking through the opening in the window "The video will be for my own personal benefit…"

"That's!... Disgusting!" Wendy exclaimed a bit startled by Eric being so close.

"Hey! You're the ones who're gonna be doing disgusting hippie sex things in my house!" Eric replied with a frown "I'd say it's a very cheap price to pay for giving you the chance to not explode from a huge case of blue balls" Eric bit his lip and looked down pensive for a bit "Or ovaries…" He finally shook his head and grinned again "Anyways… Are you in or not?"

Wendy looked equal parts shocked and ready to punch Eric. Stan just looked absorbed in his thoughts. But almost in synch they both nodded slowly and Wendy took a deep breath "I'm already regretting this… But if anything goes wrong at least I'll have the satisfaction of hunting you down and feeding you your own pig balls and letting you die crying and humiliated in front of the whole town"

"That's the spirit" Eric chuckled and stepped back just in time for Wendy's car to speed by him. His grin turned now into a malevolent smirk. Phase one was complete.

***Disclaimer: I don't own the South Park characters or any of the brand names mentioned in this story. I don't own any of the songs mentioned on the story or used as chapter titles.


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